Look at that, there’s a WWE PPV tonight. Legit didn’t know until 4 this afternoon. Since Preacher isn’t on until later, let’s all watch and give random thoughts. I think it’s Reigns vs Styles again. No idea about anything else.
Shall we?
WWE Extreme Rules FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness RESULTS & RECAP
- Turn it on and see Zigler vs Corbin on. Corbin is still awful and I’m already regretting now just going to sleep early – 5 hours early. Then I’d avoid this. That’s the joke.
- Corbin with an uppercut to the cock. Then hits his move and Corbin wins.
- They just showed two bugs fucking. On purpose. Wtf?
Ussos vs Gallos and Anderson
- Crowd like G&A and boo the Ussos. And they just basically said that it’s all Bc of Roman. He has like a violently spreading herpes.
- Both got the heat here and there. It is kinda slow.
- Gallows used a bell. Usso splashed on it on accident. Bullet Club hit their move and won!
- On their cartoon tonight, HHH has to take Vince out on a date in order to date Stephanie. That feels inside ish.
Kalisto vs Rusev – some title
- They keep showing all the different international announcers. It feels weird.
- Rusev throwing Kalisto around like … I dunno. Fuck analogies.
- Rusev’s bear hug from behind while on the mat makes it look like he’s getting ready for some raping.
- Flippy things.
- Springboard frog splash. VIVA LA SAVINGS!!!
- Rusev throws Kalisto over the top and right onto the apron. Ugh.
- Ref and Dr are checking him. That’s BS. If he’s not healthy then the match is over. Rusev should be allowed to win!!!!
- SUPER camel clutch and RUSEV WINS.
The sun isn’t the only things rising.
New Day vs Vaudevillains
- Xavier just asked for women to send him nudes on Twitter.
- Bad Guys hit one of their moves but Woods kicked out. Crowd got into it.
- Fucking Big E did his insane spear thing. Woods hit a shining wizard for the pin. New Day Win.
Miz vs Cesaro vs Owens vs Zayn
- Cesaro wears a tear away suit? I want one of those.
- The very first thing done is Zayn hitting his kick on Owens, getting him out there for awhile.
- Cesaro dumped Miz then.
- Cesaro and Zayn doing fast wrestling stuff. Then Cesaro uses his muscles for a move.
- They teased a superplex power bomb combo then Owens stopped it. Now he’s winning on people.
- Then they did a double superplex power bomb spot w Cesaro then trying to pin everyone.
- This feels very well done.
- Fuck. Miz had an exploder ready to go on Zayn then Cesaro got behind and hit a German at the same time.
- They all hit things then Miz with his move. Cesaro kicked out.
- Giant swing on Miz. 20 reps. Sharpshooter. Miz taps but ref doesn’t see it.
- Cesaro hit his move on Owens but Zayn broke up the pin.
- Pop up power bomb. Miz stops it. Miz hits his move to Owens outside.
- Crowd losing their shit.
- Zayn hits his kick. Owens pulled him outside. They fight. Miz sneaks in and wins!
Ambrose vs Jericho- winner gets a talk show match?
- This is some sorta cage match where you can also use a potted plant to hit someone.
- Ambrose grabbed a mop and hit Jericho with it a bunch. Then he rubbed it in Jericho’s face and the announcers acted like the mop has to have been previously used. The idea of just buying a new mop is impossible.
- Thry used canes. And leather straps. These matches don’t work Bc there’s no blood or real violence. It’s like a lame cartoon.
- Boring as fuck.
- Ambrose hits his flying elbow from off the top of the cage. In the process I think he took five good years off his knees.
- Dean got a bucket and it had thumbtacks inside…
- Lots of tease spots w the tacs.
- Boston Crab.
- Jericho hits Dean with the barbed wire board.
- AHHHHHH. AMBROSE COUNTERED A MOVE AND THREW JERICHO ONTO THE TACS!!!!
- Now Dirty Deads into the same. Ambrose wins.
Kid Flair vs Nattie
- Just lots of basic wrestling exchanges and various submission holds.
- They did the Arona-Rampage finish. But this is sub only.
- Flair hits a perfect Moonsault. And grabs a half crab.
- Dana Brook distracted everyone. Nattie got hit and then tapped by the figure 8. Flair wins.
Styles vs Reigns
- Running around and punching each other outside. Tease of something on th concrete.
- Boom! Styles is back body dropped HIGH!!!!!!! from one table through another.
- Reigns with a Razer’s Edge.
- “You still suck” being chanted at Reigns constantly, as if to acknowledge that they were slightly impressed.
- Styles caught by the feet. Swung into the ring and the barricade. Before finally being elevated with a huge power bombed through a table.
- Reigns want through a barricade on a missed spear.
- Now a spear hits AJ on the outside.
- Bullet Club out. They beat up Reigns. Near fall but Super Roman kicks out of all.
- Ussos now. Beating up everyone. Near fall, Styles out!
- Styles clash!!! Super near fall kick out.
- Pele kick.
- Clash on a chair. Usso pull out for a second. Kick out!
- Styles loses it and starts hitting everyone he sees w a chair.
- Reigns spears Styles as AJ was soaring through the air to hit his forearm. Reigns wins.
Let’s look at sex one last time:
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