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Highly Suspect Music Video: My Name Is Human

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I’m not even sure if this is good, I won’t lie.  However, when writing about GUESS WHAT’S STUCK IN MIKE’S HEAD, amiability isn’t necessary.

 

Nor is using “amiability” properly. (I was close.)

 

I heard this on the radio machine the other day.  Fuck that, it’s a new pet peeve of mine, when people purposely say something stupid for technology’s name.  Like, “The InterWebs” or whatever.  You aren’t clever or cool, you’re just an idiot.  “The radio machine” is a shit attempt at that.  One I regret.

 

Right then.  I heard this on the radio.  I listen to the radio for approximately 10 minutes a day: to and from the train station.  It’s not worth enough of my time to plug in my phone so I listen to the radio.  Basically, if the world of music wants me to hear something new, they have 10 minutes a day.  And the station I listen to, WKQX Chicago (the former Q 101 of my youth), plays a lot of the good music, from when music was good: STP, Nirvana, White Stripes, Blondie, etc…

 

WKQX played this the other day, both on my way to and from the train, so it must be good.  Just listen to it.  Or don’t.  (Apparently, it almost won a Grammy – I’m REALLY out of the loop, aren’t I?)(It may also be from that show, Stranger Things, but I’m not sure.  They both showed up together on Google.)

 

 

Highly Suspect Music Video: My Name Is Human

 

 

Highly Suspect Music Video: My Name Is Human LYRICS

Okay

 

I’m feeling the way that I’m feeling myself
Fuck everyone else
Gotta remember that nobody is better than anyone else, here
(Do you need some time to think it over?)
Look what they do to you
Look what they do to me
Must be joking if you think that either one is free, here

 

Get up off your knees, girl
Stand face to face with your God
And find out what you are
(Hello, my name is human)
Hello, my name is human
And I came down from the stars
(Hello, my name is human)

 

I’m ready for love and I’m ready for war
But I’m ready for more
I know that nobody’s ever been this fucking ready before, hey
(Do you need some time to think it over?)
So figure it out or don’t figure it out
I figured it out
The bigger the river (the bigger the river)
The bigger the drought (the bigger the drought)

 

Get up off your knees, boy
Stand face to face with your God
And find out what you are
(Hello, my name is human)
Hello, my name is human
And I came down from the stars
(Hello, my name is human)

 

Fire world, I love you
Fire world

 

I’m up off my knees, girl
I’m face to face with myself
And I know who I am
(Hello, my name is human)
I stole the power from the sun
I’m more than just a man
(No longer disillusioned)

 

(I’m not asking questions)
(‘Cause questions have answers)
(And I don’t want answers)
I came down from the stars (so I’ll take my chances)
(And what are the chances)
(That I could advance)
(On my own circumstances)
(Said “what are the chances?”)
Hello, my name is human (and what are the chances?)
(I don’t want your answers)
(I’m not asking questions)
(So you keep your answers)
And I know who I am (so you keep your answers)
(I’m not asking questions)
(I’m taking my chances)

 

(If those are wrong, don’t look at me, I just stole them from somewhere else.)

The post Highly Suspect Music Video: My Name Is Human appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.


FINAL GIRLS (!), Fury, A Better Tomorrow, and pro wrestling’s ALL THE MARBLES! Reviews like you’ll never believe.

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My first Couch Zone Movie Club was such a roaring success (I personally know of three people who read it and there were many more who clicked on it by mistake thinking it was the latest episode of Comic Conversations) that inevitably it has spawned this sequel. This  instalment, which in the tradition of sequels will be no where as good as the first, will once again highlight  four lesser known movies from my misspent life. As always the four categories are a cult like movie, a black and white film, a foreign language film and a lesser known film from the last ten years.

 

All the Marbles 1981 (also known as The California Dolls)

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Another movie that I saw on BBC’s excellent Moviedrome season, All the Marbles is possibly the only good wrestling movie that came out before Mickey Rourke donned a pair of tights 2008.  It features Peter Falk (you know, Columbo) as the manager of a ladies tag team The California Dolls trying to make a living on the pro circuit.

 

Along with clashing with crooked promoters and trying to make ends meet with the stresses of life on the road the team find themselves in a feud with tag champions the Toledo Tigers.

 

This is not a realistic behind the scenes story like Rourke’s celebrated film and is instead a Rocky style underdog story, where wrestling is presented as a real contest (a nice touch is just before the title match where the referee orders the ladies to wash their makeup off so he can see cuts properly). Although there are nods to wrestling not being totally on the level, the feud between the teams begins when the Tigers complain that the Dolls didn’t allow them to win in front of their home crowd.

 

Wrestling legend Mildred Burke trained the women for the wrestling scenes and this is probably why the action is phenomenal. The final match between the Dolls and Tigers goes on for a blistering twenty minutes of a non stop back and forth war that gets brutal towards the end. Seeing as it features non wrestlers it’s to the actresses credit that it  flows and feels like an actual proper wrestling match. Ironically more so than Hulk Hogan or Roddy Piper’s piss poor wrestling movies years later.

 

The film was not a commercial success, which is a shame because a sequel had been considered which would have seen the Dolls touring the Japanese scene. Considering the women wrestling over there at the time this would have had so many possibilities.

 

Some will baulk at wrestling being presented as real, but this is one of the finest advertisements for wrestling being a fun entertainment form to watch. For me personally it opened my eyes to the trying women’s wrestling for the first time having held a prejudice against it when I first got interested in the American scene.

 

Image result for all the marbles

 

 

A Better Tomorrow 

Image result for a better tomorrow

 

This isn’t just my favourite foreign movie of all time, this is one of my favourite movies full stop.

 

In the mid nineties a wave of Hong Kong movies hit British Video stores, absolutely wowing action films fans with over the top violence as sunglasses wearing gangsters clad in cool as fuck suits, went to war in the genre that became known as Heroic Bloodshed.

 

I devoured any of these films I could get my hands on but the one that stood out from the pack and stole my heart was the one that started it all. The film that cemented John Woo as the Michelangelo of action movies and Chow Yun Fat as the coolest guy to fire two guns at the same time.

 

A Better Tomorrow is an admittedly romanticised portrayal of two gangsters Mark and Ho (rumours have abounded that the Triads influenced the Hong Kong film industry to use it as a recruiting tool) working as heavies in the counterfeit money rackets. The two are well respected and successful but Ho is determined to leave the business to avoid conflict with his younger brother Kit who has joined the police.

 

On his final job Ho is double crossed by a young gangster and winds up in jail. Mark goes for  revenge against the betrayers and ends up crippled by a bullet to the leg.

 

When Ho is released from jail his brother has disowned him and Mark is a shell of himself, his injury reducing him to odd jobs and cleaning the car of the new, arrogant boss of the crime family. When Ho and Mark are reunited it’s a truly moving and heartbreaking moment.

 

Ho attempts to live a clean life and to build bridges with his Kit, who hates him as being the brother of a criminal has ruined his police career. Ho and Mark  find themselves harassed both by Kit attempting to bring Ho’s former  gang down and by the new gang boss who wants Ho back in his ranks.

 

A Better Tomorrow is a wonderful story of loyalty, friendship and brotherhood. It has a heart that puts it high above the rest of genre and has action scenes that are beautifully choreographed. One shootout in particular has become the stuff of legend where Mark hides a trail of guns in plant pots in readiness of his escape after killing the man who betrayed Ho.

 

As well as Woo’s excellent  direction the film is complimented by an exhilarating score that hits all the emotional moods perfectly.

 

It may have been outdone and overshadowed in the all out action stakes by Woo’s later films The Killer and Hard Boiled, but A Better Tomorrow is his masterpiece, a rousing display of cinema.

 

 

 

Image result for a better tomorrow

 

 

 

Fury 1936

 

Image result for fury movie 1937 tracy

 

For every Casablanca, High Noon and Twelve Angry there are hundreds of movies from the history of Classical Hollywood that have slipped into being practically unknown.  Case in point Fritz Lang’s first American movie (after getting the hell out of Germany when Hitler rose to power) a celebrated and successful movie (with two Oscar nominations), which I’d never come across in all my years of afternoon  classic movie watching until a showing in my film studies class.

 

Based loosely on a true incident, Fury sees Spencer Tracey falsely arrested under suspicion of kidnapping while passing through a small town. Gossip and rumours spread amongst and town residents and the resulting hysteria incites a riot where an angry mob descends on the jail in order to lynch the innocent man.

 

Tracey barely survives but goes along with the belief he was killed in order to exact revenge on the townsfolk who close ranks and attempt a cover up in the face of their trial for murder .

 

For it’s time this is a dark movie, highlighting how regular people can commit evils when subcoming to mob rule and giving in to rage. The first half of the film is frightening in the town’s build towards violence and just as unsettling is  Tracey’s descent into hatred when seeking revenge on his attackers.

 

It’s not the most widely screened film but it’s definitely worth a watch if you come across it.

 

Related image

 

 

 

Final Girls 2015

 

Image result for final girls

 

Comedy spoofs, particularly on horror movies are a nauseating epidemic. Often rushed, uncreative and painfully unfunny they’re  nothing more than a cynical and catty cash grab.

 

It’s therefore refreshing when something like Final Girls comes along which pokes fun at the tropes of slasher movies but is done with some thought and creativity and comes across with a degree of affection for the target of it’s satire.

 

A young woman Max is attending a anniversary screening of a cult film Cabin Bloodbath that starred her recently deceased mother. A bizarre set of events causes an accident in the theatre that transports Max and a group of her friends into the movie. The team initially find they have to play along with the script but later find themselves able to influence the direction of the story.

 

There are lots of comedic gore as both the film characters and the real kids are slain at the hands of the films killer Billy (a homage to Jason). There are also pokes at the cliches of slasher movies where the real kids use their knowledge of the genre to attempt to save the film characters from their designated deaths, such as  trying to prevent them from having sex as this typically leads straight to death in the genre.

 

Aside from the comedy there is also some genuine moving scenes between Max and her mother’s character in the film.

 

Final girls only received a limited cinema release with the intention to market the movie through streaming channels and internationally went straight to DVD. It’s therefore reasonably accessible if you know to look for it and is definitely an enjoyable film that shouldn’t be lumped in with the other groan inducing spoof movies out there.

 

 

 

Image result for final girls

 

 

Next week’s Movie Club will see a Vampire road movie, a very early anime classic, a British comedy with an unlikely serial killer couple and an exploitation film so derided upon it’s release it that it was actually banned for 30 years in the UK.

 

 

BONUS AFTER CREDITS SCENE

 

If you read my last article you may remember how I teased that the next one would feature a British Godzilla ripoff. Well what happened is this, the film in question was Gorgo and was intended to be included in the article in the black and white section. Except that when I came to research the film I realised that my memory has been playing tricks on me (I last saw the film when I was about six) and the film is actually in Colour, in fact not just colour but Technicolour no less! (THERE IS NO “U” IN COLOR. -M)

 

Therefore in only my second episode of this article I’m already breaking the format rules and given you a brief bonus fifth film. You’re welcome.

 

GORGO 1961

 

Image result for gorgo

 

A fun giant monster movie that doesn’t need subtitles and sees London instead of Tokyo getting fucked up? Count me in.

 

Gorgo is a British homage/ripoff of the Godzilla movies, which is more in keeping with the spirit of the original 1954 movie than the ridiculousness of that franchise’s sequels. It also draws somewhat on the original King Kong vibe in that there is a sympathetic portrayal of the creatures (in a rarity the monster gets a happy ending) . There is an environmental friendly message with the idea that it’s the meddling of mankind that leads to  the later destruction.

 

Gorgo sees a crew of treasure seekers discover volcanic island that is home to a 65 ft high prehistoric like creature. The crew manage to capture the creature and like arseholes sell it to a circus in London where it’s put on show under the name Gorgo. Shit then hits the fan when the creatures 200 ft enraged mother comes to reclaim her kid and rampages through London to free the little un.

 

Gorgo utilises the Godzilla style  special effects with a guy in a monster suit stomping on miniature cities. Cynics may scoff at the dated effects, but the scenes of destruction are fun and match up well with Godzilla at it’s best. There is also some nice mixing of live action in the same scenes as the monster set pieces.

 

I have a soft spot for Gorgo with it being unique for being a British monster movie and having an epic scale that was quite rare for the normally grounded British films of the sixties. It’s a fun movie and has aged as well as most pulpy sci fi movies of that decade.

 

Plus Londoners getting a kicking is always fun.

 

 

 

Image result for gorgo

 

 

til next time

 

Dazza

 

Like my movie club or choices? Give me a tweet on @dazzabookseller I genuinely would love feedback.

 

The post FINAL GIRLS (!), Fury, A Better Tomorrow, and pro wrestling’s ALL THE MARBLES! Reviews like you’ll never believe. appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Moana 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Moana 2?

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Moana told the wonderful story of a girl name Moana, a Polynesian princess who teams up with a demi-god named Maui, voiced by Dwayne THE ROCK Johnson.  It was a huge hit for Disney and made a powerful statement as far as showing a person of color in a main starring role.  Moana smoothly slid into her role as a “Disney Princess” and added yet another rich layer to the Disney mythos.

 

 

Are you excited for a Moana sequel?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

 

 

Moana 2 Plot/ Moana 2 Story/ Moana 2 Spoilers

No official plot synopsis has been provided for Moana 2 just yet (darn it! Just like the Big Hero 6 sequel! I want to know more!!!).  Moana 2 is the sequel to Moana, as you might expect.  We’ve talked to a few people we know at Disney for some inside information on what to expect.  While nothing is concrete, there’s no doubt there will be a sequel, and some of the tentative plans have been leaked to us.  Let’s see what’s in store, shall we?

 

They’ll likely hold off on the announcement for a while since these films take so long to get made and they don’t want to lose any momentum by announcing early and having everyone wait a million years for the film.  That all said, we’ve heard a few rumored ideas.

 

More important that the plot, though, is the team returning in full, which it appears will be the case.  However, the ending of Moana clearly lends itself to a number of sequels.  Recall that Moana concluded with our hero restoring the lost heart to Te Fiti, which saves the day.  Then, we learn that Moana is the new great fisherwoman of the tribe and she takes off to sail the world and discover new lands.  Moana 2 will pick up there and see Moana sailing from one island to the next, all as part of a larger adventure. (This also works as it allows Disney to make a Moana themed waterpark ride.)  The story might focus more on Moana growing into her role as the leader of the tribe.

 

Someone floated the idea of a love interest for Moana but an executive told us that was unlikely as they like the idea of a princess story that doesn’t revolve around a played out cliche.  Still, if there is one, Moana will no doubt be the one doing the rescuing.

 

 

Moana 2 Director

 

Ron Clements John Musker directed the first Moana, so their directing the sequel makes a ton of sense. Why fix what’s not broke?

 

 

Moana 2 Writers

 

Ron Clements John Musker both co-wrote Moana.  They were joined by a cast of writers and will be accompanied by them once again.  They’ll also add Brian Lynch, who wrote the first Minions film and The Secret Life of Pets.

 

 

Moana 2 Posters & Pictures

 

Moana 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Moana 2? Moana 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Moana 2? Moana 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Moana 2? Moana 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Moana 2? Moana 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Moana 2?

 

 

Moana 2 Trailer

 

 

 

 

 

Moana 2 Release Date

 

Moana 2 will be released, most likely, in November of 2020.  That gives them enough time to get it right and keep it in the coveted winter blockbuster slot.  It’ll tie in with marketing and toy efforts by Disney, all done to steal your kids money. (Read: your money.)

 

 

Moana 2 Cast & Stars

 

  • Auli’i Cravalho as Moana Waialiki, the sixteen-year-old daughter of village chief Tui who is chosen by the ocean to restore the heart of Te Fiti.
    • Louise Bush as a younger Moana
  • Dwayne Johnson as Maui, a legendary shapeshifting demigod who sets off with Moana on her journey.
  • Rachel House as Gramma Tala Waialiki, Moana’s grandmother. Like Moana, Tala shares a passion for the ocean.
  • Temuera Morrison as Chief Tui Waialiki, Moana’s overprotective father and chief of Motunui Island.
    • Christopher Jackson as Tui’s singing voice
  • Jemaine Clement as Tamatoa, a giant treasure-hoarding coconut crab from Lalotai, the Realm of Monsters.
  • Nicole Scherzinger as Sina Waialiki, Moana’s mother and Tui’s wife.

 

 

Best Actor/Actress in Moana 2

 

Auli’i Cravalho as Moana Waialiki.  Cravalho arrived on the scene and has been a super delight to fans everywhere.  Moana was, at least in part, modeled on the actress and she’s breathed life into a fantastic character.  Not only is she one of the most front and center people of color in Hollywood at the moment, by representing Pacific Islanders, Cravalho exposes a part of humanity often overlooked.  Not Asian, not black, but in between.

Worst Actor/Actress in Moana 2

 

None.  Everyone is perfect, which is boring to read, I know.  It’s also true.

 

Potential Moana 2 Titles

 

  • Moana Two
  • Despicable Moana
  • Come On I Wanna Moana
  • Mini Moana (with The Rock doing a done of roles)
  • Moana and the Magic Canoe

 

Will Moana 2 Be Worth Seeing?

Disney, as it usually does, captured lightning in a bottle.  They managed to collect all the fun and joy of the classic films with a new, modern feel.  Plus, it received an Academy Award nomination, people!  You know this will be great.

 

Moana 2 Box Office Forecast

After only two months, Moana has grossed half a billion dollars.  Throw in Blu Ray and toy sales and this is already a multi-billion dollar franchise.  Moana 2 will take in $700m at the theaters.

 

Final Thoughts on a Moana Sequel

How can you not be excited for this?  The Rock is awesome. The story is awesome. The art is awesome. Moana 2 will be awesome!!!

 

Like this Moana 2 Preview? Check These Out!

 

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ice age 6 link

 

 

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The post Moana 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Moana 2? appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

John Wick 3 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a John Wick 3l?

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Twitter

 

First, it was Taken and all its sequels.  Then Sleepless, With Jamie Foxx.  In between, there was John Wick, starring Keanu Reeves.  With the first film quadrupling its budget, just as the box office, a sequel was a no brainer.  And now? John Wick 3 is coming.  Using our industry contacts, of which we have many, we give you the news about the third John Wick film. (Besides, you know these things are always trilogies.)

 

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN John Wick 3?

 

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

 

The Plot of John Wick 3

 

 

Obviously, things are still in early, early development but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still developing.  The first film was all about Wick gaining revenge for the killing of his dog.  The dog was symbolic, of course, as it was “from” his dead wife.  The retired hitman went out and killed people in an over the top manner that was awesome.

 

The second film was him just going out and killing bad guys, again.  He was “bound by a blood oath” (as Wikipedia so elegantly put it) and thus more murder happened.

 

The final film in the John Wick movie series wraps it all up.  Wick will learn that his wife didn’t die of natural causes but was in fact the victim of a poison from an old Wick foe.  This will anchor the film with an emotional core that’s needed to prevent them from being too similar.  It also allows things to tie up nicely.  Don’t worry, there’s gonna be a TON of violence and murder.  It’s all good.

 

Oh, and of course, his fight against the on going gangs, including the homeless group of warriors.  They’ll all be coming for him but he’ll “kill them all.”

 

 

John Wick 3 DIRECTOR

 

Chad Stahelski directed the first two films in the John Wick series and he’ll no doubt direct the third.  Keanu Reeves will executive produce the rom-com thriller.

 

 

John Wick 3 name is…

 

  • John Wick 3: Burning the Candle at Both Ends
  • John QUICK Wick
  • John Wick the Third
  • John Wick: Chapter 3.
  • John Wick: The Final Chapter
  • Another Chapter of John Wick
  • The Wild and Crazy Adventures of John Wick
  • John Wick: Johnny Appleseed
  • John Wick: Revolutions
  • John Wick: Reloaded
  • John Wick: WHOA!

 

John Wick 3 Cast

 

  • Keanu Reeves as Jonathan “John” Wick, an ex-hitman
  • Jay Z as the head of security for a new sexy crime lord
  • Laurence Fishburne as The Bowery King, a ruthless crime lord
  • Riccardo Scamarcio as Santino, an assassin
  • Ruby Rose as Ares, an assassin
  • John Leguizamo as Aurelio, the owner of a high-end chop shop
  • Ian McShane as Winston, the owner of the Continental Hotel
  • Bridget Moynahan as Helen Wick, John’s deceased wife (via flashbacks)
  • Lance Reddick as Charon, the concierge at the Continental Hotel
  • Thomas Sadoski as Jimmy, a police officer and friend of John’s
  • David Patrick Kelly as Charlie, the cleaner

 

 

The POSTER for John Wick 3 starring Keanu Reeves

 

John Wick 3 Cast Plot Rumors and release date News Will there be a John Wick 3

 

 

 

John Wick 3 PHOTOS

 

John Wick 3 Cast Plot Rumors and release date News Will there be a John Wick 3 John Wick 3 Cast Plot Rumors and release date News Will there be a John Wick 3 John Wick 3 Cast Plot Rumors and release date News Will there be a John Wick 3 John Wick 3 Cast Plot Rumors and release date News Will there be a John Wick 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John Wick 3 TRAILER

 

It’ll look like this, which is MAYBE us showing you the first two films’ trailers.  Perhaps.  Maybe.  It’s iffy…  Or maybe it isn’t.  Maybe you’ll read this in 20 years and look back at our simplistic reliance on YouTube.

 

 

 

 

John Wick 3 WILL BE WRITTEN BY

 

Derek Kolstad will write John Wick 3, with help from the director, Chad Stahelski.

 

 

John Wick 3 RELEASE DATE

 

February 14, 2019 is when it’ll come out.  That’s a little over two years since the second film and fits in perfectly with the non-peak release schedule of the films.

 

 

John Wick 3 BOX OFFICE

 

This is why the third John Wick will be made. These types of movies are MINTS for the studios. To give you an idea, here is the cost and gross for the first three Taken films:

 

  • Taken: $22m cost; $226m box office
  • Taken 2: $43m cost; $376m box office
  • Taken 3: $55m cost; $326.5m box office

 

In total, the first three Taken films cost a combined $118m to produce and have brought in just shy of ONE BILLION DOLLARS! You just don’t find profit like that every day.

 

John Wick cost $20m to make and brought in $90m at the box office.  To be sure, John Wick 3 will continue the trend of making money and the box office will be $150m.

 

John Wick 3 PRODUCTS


 

 

If you liked this John Wick 3, Check These Out:

 

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Taken 4 photos

 

 

The post John Wick 3 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a John Wick 3l? appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Don’t Breath 2 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a Don’t Breath Sequel?

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Twitter

 

Death, taxes, and horror movies sequels.  Don’t Breath wasn’t just a hit – it was a HUGE hit.  It was made for pennies and returned solid gold bars.  Given that horror movies with far less success are given sequels and remakes, it is no surprise that our Hollywood Insider sources tell us there’s a sequel in the works.  And this is what’s in store.

 

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN Don’t Breath 2?

 

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

 

The Plot of Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel)

 

 

Don’t Breath worked because it was simple: three teenage kids try to rob a blind man, he fights back, they discover a horrifying secret.  Hijinx ensue and a bunch of people die.  The twists were unexpected but flowed well with the story.  Long and short, the old man had money the kids wanted to steal.  The money was because a woman had run over and killed the Blind Man’s kid.  It turns out, after the punk kids find where the money is, that the woman who killed Blind Guy’s kid was alive and being held captive in the basement.  Not only that, she’d been forced via artificial insemination to carry the child of Blind Man.  This was his revenge because she killed his daughter.  Blind Man, though, accidentally kills this chick and so he’s pissed at our lead, Rocky.

 

Here’s where the sequel kicks in.  Of the three kids, only Rocky survives.  She gets out with the money and is going to restart her life.  Before that happens, she sees on the news a report about the Blind Man.  He’s alive and was shown to have killed two intruders into his home.  There’s no mention of the woman he kept hidden nor of the stolen money.  Only two people alive know about that money: Blind Man and Rocky.  Don’t Breath 2 will simply (“simply”) be about the old man tracking her down to get both his money and revenge.  After all, in his mind, Rocky is now responsible for having taken from him his new daughter.  He’ll find her and horror will take over.  Will she survive?  Probably.  But will her sister, Diddy?  That’s the central plot of Don’t Breath 2 and where all the drama will rest.  Good stuff.

 

Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel) DIRECTOR

 

Don’t Breath was written and directed by Fede Alvarez so it’s a safe bet that he’ll be involved once again.  His only other major directing work was the Evil Dead remake.  He’ll take the money, just watch.

 

 

 

Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel) name is…

 

  • Breathless
  • Breath With Me
  • Hold Your Breath
  • Don’t Breath 2
  • Don’t Breath Again
  • Don’t Stop Breathing
  • Don’t See
  • See Your Breath in the Cold
  • Breathe In; Breathe Out
  • Can You Breath Me?

The Don’t Breath Cast (the Don’t Breath Sequel Cast)

 

  • Jane Levy as Rocky
  • Stephen Lang as Norman Nordstrom / “The Blind Man”
  • Dylan Minnette as Alex (flashback)
  • Daniel Zovatto as Money (flashback)
  • Franciska Törőcsik as Cindy Roberts
  • Emma Bercovici as Diddy
  • Christian Zagia as Raul
  • Katia Bokor as Ginger
  • Sergej Onopko as Trevor

 

The POSTER for Don’t Breath 2

 

Don't Breath 2 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a Don't Breath Sequel?

 

 

 

Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel) PHOTOS

 

Don't Breath 2 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a Don't Breath Sequel?

Don't Breath 2 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a Don't Breath Sequel?

Don't Breath 2 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a Don't Breath Sequel?

Don't Breath 2 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a Don't Breath Sequel?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel) TRAILER

 

It’ll look like this, which is MAYBE us showing you the first films trailer.  Perhaps.  Maybe.  It’s iffy…

 

 

 

Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel) WILL BE WRITTEN BY

 

Don’t Breath 2 will be written by Fede Alvarez.  Weren’t you paying attention earlier when I wrote all that?!?

 

 

The Don’t Breath Sequel RELEASE DATE

 

March 15, 2019 is when it’ll come out.  It’ll be marketed at fans of Shakespeare.

 

Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel) BOX OFFICE

 

This is why Don’t Breath 2 will be made. These types of movies are MINTS for the studios. To give you an idea, here is the cost and gross for the first three Taken films:

 

  • Taken: $22m cost; $226m box office
  • Taken 2: $43m cost; $376m box office
  • Taken 3: $55m cost; $326.5m box office

 

In total, the first three Taken films cost a combined $118m to produce and have brought in just shy of ONE BILLION DOLLARS! You just don’t find profit like that every day.

 

This will make even more.  It had a budget of $9m for the first one and a global box office of $155m.  If Saw can have a billion sequels you know this thing will too.

 

Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel) PRODUCTS

 

 

Don’t breath

 

If you liked this Don’t Breath 2 (the Don’t Breath Sequel) Preview, Check These Out:

 

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Taken 4 photos

 

 

The post Don’t Breath 2 (2019) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News; Will there be a Don’t Breath Sequel? appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Taken 4 (2018) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News

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Twitter

 

Even Jack Bauer came back and the Taken movie franchise is essentially 24 but in movie form. It took Liam Neeson and transformed him from kind of serious actor to all out bad-ass for his generation. The 80s had Arnold and Sly; this generation has Neeson. No, none of us saw this coming. Thus we give you all of the news and rumors for Taken 4, using our industry contacts who have yet to lead us astray.

 

 

The Plot of Taken 4

 

I can’t pretend the next Taken film in the franchise will have a brilliant plot because it won’t. You won’t care. No one really cares about the plot to Taken 4, they just wanna see Neeson be a grizzled badass.  Taken 3 was basically Neeson’s ex-wife’s husband trying to frame Neeson for her murder. Lots of shooting, escapes, and way too much torture occurred. In the end, Neeson saves the day, yada yada.

 

In Taken 4, we need someone to be truly TAKEN though. The victim this time? None other than Neeson’s granddaughter! In Taken 3, Neeson’s daughter was pregnant and since she was the first to be captured it’s only fitting that her Ability To Be Kidnapped passes to her progeny.

 

Plus, Neeson already saved his dumb kid and probably figures she isn’t owed another saving. But his grandchild? Oh hell yea, he will say “You have Taken my grandchild. I will find you and I will kill you” if you hurt that kid!

 

Taken 4 DIRECTOR

 

Olivier Megaton directed both Taken 2 and Taken 3 but Taken 4 will be directed by Luc Besson. Besson has been the creative force behind the franchise and yet has never directed one. This despite the Frenchmen being an amazing visual director, one who has a keen eye for everything a Taken fourth film needs: shooting, action, rescues, and being awesome.

 

 

Taken 4 name is…

 

A number of possible titles for Taken 4 are being workshopped, including:

 

  • Taken 4

 

  • Taken 4: Taken Back

 

  • Taken BJJ: Taking The Back

 

  • Taken 4 a Ride

 

  • No One is Taken a Back Seat to Neeson

 

  • Look Whose Taken Now

 

  • Taken Aback (to the future)

 

 

The Fourth Taken Movie Cast

 

Liam Neeson will be back to play the lead in Taken 4 because duh. Maggie Gracie will return and look simultaneously hot and useless. And a cabbage patch kid will play the baby. A no-name actor who looks like he’s from Armenia will be the bad guy.

 

 

The POSTER for Taken 4

 

Taken 4 poster

 

Taken 4 poster

 

 

 

Taken 4 PHOTOS

 

Taken 4 photos

 

Taken 4 photos

 

Taken 4 photos

 

Taken 4 photos

 

Taken 4 photos

 

Taken 4 photos

 

 

Taken 4 TRAILER

 

It’ll look like this, which is MAYBE us showing you the first three Taken trailers and/or random clips. Maybe…

 

 

 

 

 

Taken 4 WILL BE WRITTEN BY

 

Luc Besson will be the primary script doctor for the latest Taken. Taken 4 will also be written by Neeson, as he wants to try his hand at that, and maybe even Joe Wright. He really likes the franchise.  Which is really odd but for a guy who usually makes movies that no man watches.

 

 

The Next Taken RELEASE DATE

 

There is currently a planned Taken TV Series coming to NBC but it is slated to be a prequel and won’t impact the film. Taken 4 will be released in August of 2018. It will fill the end of summer surprise action movie spot.

 

 

Taken 4 BOX OFFICE

 

This is why Taken 4 will be made. These things are MINTS for the studios. To give you an idea, here is the cost and gross for the first three Taken films:

 

  • Taken: $22m cost; $226m box office
  • Taken 2: $43m cost; $376m box office
  • Taken 3: $55m cost; $326.5m box office

 

In total, the first three Taken films cost a combined $118m to produce and have brought in just shy of ONE BILLION DOLLARS! You just don’t find profit like that every day.

 

The fourth Taken will cost roughly $65 million to make and should easily have a box office of $350m. Not bad.

 

Taken 4 PRODUCTS

 

 


 

 

If you liked this Taken 4 Preview, Check These Out:

 

The Martian 2 Related PostConstantine 2 Related PostI Am Legend 2 Preview

 

The post Taken 4 (2018) Cast, Plot, Rumors, and release date News appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Dredd 2 (2018) Release Date, Trailer, Cast & More Dredd Sequel News!

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@HalfGuarded

 

Dredd 2 Poll: Are you excited for a Dredd sequel?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
Dredd 2, or whatever the possible Dredd sequel will be named, is a followup to the surprisingly good, but also unsurprisingly unsuccessful, 2012 film starring Karl Urban as the titular hero Judge Dredd. Set in a futuristic dystopia, the judges are police officers who are “judge, jury and executioner” all rolled into one!

 

Dredd 2 Full Movie Categories & Subtopics:


Dredd 2 Overview | Dredd 2 Release Date | Dredd 2 Director | Dredd 2 Writers | Dredd 2 Pictures | Dredd 2 Trailer | Dredd 2 Cast | Dredd 2 Titles | Dredd 2 Box Office Forecast | Final Thoughts on Dredd 2

Will there be a Dredd Sequel?

 

Dredd Sequel
I loved Dredd. It took me by surprise and was a far better action film than it had any right to be. To be clear, the comic is legendary and I’m not criticizing it, but after the Stallone debacle back in the 90’s, I didn’t have much hope for Dredd (much like I have little hope for I Am Legend 2). But then they stole the premise of The Raid (like National Treasure 3 should steal the plot from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade), and it really worked. Maybe they can steal the premise of The Raid 2 for a Dredd sequel!

Possible Dredd 2 Directors

 

Pete Travis directed Dredd, but since has done more TV work (which is what Adam Sandler should be doing after Grown Ups 3) than movies. He does have an upcoming film in post-production called City of Tiny Lights, but maybe he’d be free after that? Personally, I’d hire Gareth Evans, who directed The Raid, to direct the Dredd sequel.

Potential Dredd Sequel Writers

 

Again, hire Gareth Evans (he wrote The Raid also). But Alex Garland did a solid job writing Dredd, so he would be a solid choice for the sequel too.

Dredd Sequel Posters & Pictures

 

Dredd 2 Release Date

Dredd 2 Trailer

 


Dredd 2 Release Date

 

Dredd 2 releases in 2018 at the earliest.

Dredd 2 Cast & Stars

 

DEFINITELY bring back the Dredd cast (they’re better than the Jumper 2 cast)! Except Lena Headey, cause she – SPOILER ALERT – died in the first one. But she’s great too. Maybe a flashback of Ma-Ma could be worked in. But Karl Urban and Olivia Thirlby are essential to making a Dredd sequel work. They should form the core Dredd 2 cast and then the studio can save some cash by hiring talented by lesser-known actors for smaller parts (Hancock 2 could learn from this too, no need for Charlize Theron outside of hotness – unless she only has one arm, in which case she’s amazing).

 

Best Dredd 2 Actor or Actress

 

Dredd 2

 

Karl Urban. I love Olivia Thirlby, but Urban really felt like Judge Dredd to me (not unlike James McAvoy really felt like Doctor Frankenstein and would continue to be good in a Victor Frankenstein sequel).

 

Worst Dredd 2 Actor or Actress

 

Dredd 2 Trailer

 

Sylvester Stallone. He wasn’t in Dredd, but his stain still marked it.

Potential Dredd Sequel Titles

 

  • Dredd 2
  • Dredder
  • Dredd 3DD
  • Dredd: Judgment Day
  • Dredd Scott
  • Dredd Man Walking
  • Dredd Dead Redemption (COWBOY JUDGE DREDD!)
  • Dredd and Loving It

 

Will Dredd 2 be Worth Seeing?

 

Dredd 2 Cast

 

Heck yeah Dredd 2 will be worth seeing. Keep the extreme violence and cool visual aesthetic from the first and you have a winner for sure!

Will a Dredd sequel make much money?

 

Honestly, no matter how much I want to believe in Dredd 2, it’s a tough sell and might not make much money at the box office.

Final Thoughts on Dredd 2

 

Dredd was an anomaly when it came out. Not too expensive (only around $40 million I believe) and extremely violent yet cool. That’s a tough act to follow, and Hollywood may not be up to the task. Still, if they can get Dredd 2 made, my butt will be in the seat opening day.

 

Like this Dredd 2 Preview? Then Check These Out!

 

Grown Ups 3 Thumbnail

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Dredd 2 Products

The post Dredd 2 (2018) Release Date, Trailer, Cast & More Dredd Sequel News! appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Constantine 2: Release Date, Trailer, Cast & more Sequel News

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@HalfGuarded

 

Constantine Sequel Poll: Sequel or Reboot?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
Constantine 2 must come sooner rather than later. It’s been too long since we saw the Brit on the silver screen and that sucks. Yes, John Constantine has appeared in his own now-canceled TV show, and if we’re lucky will become a regular on the CW DC Universe shows (Flash, Green Arrow, and Legends of Tomorrow) but he deserves better. Because there are very few characters as awesome as John Constantine.

 

What is the possible Plot of Constantine 2

 

For as much grumbling as the first Constantine movie got, it nailed the important aspects of the character: he’s a self-centered piece of shit who tricks and cons his way through life, often at the expense of others. To wit, he essentially forces the fat guy to endure terrible visions so that Constantine can learn what’s going on in the world, only for that same fatty to die. He initially shows zero interest in helping a lost woman, and really only does so because after he sees demons coming after her in public; he shows no compassion to a grieving sister and flat mocks at her times.

 

He even treats Chas, his irascible sidekick, as an afterthought. Need to get into a club? Sorry, Chas, you’re out of luck as Constantine doesn’t give a fuck about you. Drop a mirror filled with a demon on your car? Shouldn’t have left it there, Chas. Oh, and Chas is dead by the end of the film too because no one leaves Constantine’s sphere unharmed.

 

Finally, Constantine tricks Lucifer himself into freeing the sister’s soul from hell, “trading” his own. It’s a selfless act, but in committing said selfless act, Constantine is granted redemption by God and is taken to heaven. While Lucifer eventually pulls him back down to earth (so that Constantine can have innumerable chances to fuck things up and re-damn himself), before he does so, Constantine manages to flip the bird to the devil himself. Even when being magnanimous, he still has to say, “Fuck you” to someone.

 

Constantine 2: Release Date, Trailer, Cast & more Sequel News

The snake is a metaphor for your penis.

 

 

 

All of that is good. Very good. That’s the core of the character and it is a far cry different than what the TV show presented. On TV, he was kind of a jerk, but not really. He used actual magic far more than he did lies and cons. Overall, there was simply a cleanliness to the character that just doesn’t work – a Constantine sequel needs to meet the tone of the movie, not the TV show. John Constantine is a piece of shit and needs to be shown as such.

 

Now, the movie was resisted and resented by some, for a few reasons:

 

1. He wasn’t British and it was set in LA and not London/England.

I can understand and am sympathetic to this complaint. On the surface, these are minor details. Yes, his Britishness is front and center throughout his comic book life, but he’s not Captain America where it would be impossible for him to be from anywhere else. A self-centered ass of a man who uses magic and cons can easily be American. I have no issue with Constantine 2 casting a Brit in the role, and I’d expect it to be, as there are so many great British actors having incredible success these days.

 

2. He wasn’t blond.

Again, like #1, not a biggie to me. The overall feel of a character is more important than physical characteristics, as a general rule. Sometimes, the physical is important. Superman can’t be black. Part of his identity is tied to his growing up in an idealized version of America, and the black struggle doesn’t fit with that worldview. Batman could be black because there’s nothing inherently public about his character. Likewise, Captain America simply can’t be black because his origin story is tied to being the face of the Allies during WW2. Iron Man? Easily black. Same with Hulk and Hawkeye. Thor would be iffy, because he’s tied to Norse mythology and they’re all white, but it wouldn’t be an outright sin to cast a black man as Thor.

 

Constantine, for that reason, could be black, or Mexican, or hell even a woman. A blond from Liverpool isn’t essential.

 

Kinda.

 

The character originally reflected the era from which he sprang, but that’s an environment that doesn’t exist in the same ways today. Constantine used to be a punk rocker before he became a magician, who grew up in a town that was economically devastated during the 1980s. He was, in so many ways, an anti-Thatcher character. These are different times and while Scousers may still curse her name, it isn’t the same identification as it was 30 years ago.

 

Constantine 2

 

As for the plot of Constantine 2, take your pick of any of his 300+ comic book stories. Though, if I may, I present the following as the plot of the Constantine sequel:

 

Warner Brothers will be keen to somehow tie it in with the DC Movie Universe they’re building in Batman vs Superman, so why not do so. Just not directly. Very easily, you can craft a story where Constantine is saving the world in the shadows, as the titans above battle aliens (and each other). It would take a second or two to simply show Constantine saving Superman from a demon, and it would fit comic book canon as Superman has always been vulnerable to magic. The movie can be viewed completely separately from the bigger stories, but by showing him on the fringes of the world, you still place him in that world. The plot to Constantine 2 can be as easy as all of the violence and mayhem above has given hell an opportunity to pour out onto the streets and Constantine is the only one to stop it.

 

WHO IS THE CONSTANTINE 2 DIRECTOR

 

The first Constantine film was directed by Francis Lawrence. Lawrence also directed I Am Legend (and maybe its sequel, I Am Legend 2) and three of the four Hunger Games. He’d formerly been a music video director, and that shows in the movie. It’s very slick, and the special effects and music are as noticeable as in any movie. Overall, I like what he did. He kept it gritty looking (see the scene in Papa Midnight’s club) and I never felt like it was a nice, cheerful world. His returning to direct Constantine 2 wouldn’t be the worst thing.

 

But, since I imagine a Constantine sequel will be directed by a Brit (as I expect the plot to be set in England), a top of the line British director is the way to go. As such, some recommended names to direct Constantine 2:

 

Guy Ritchie.

If there’s anyone that can nail a dirty London atmosphere, it’s Ritchie. From Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels to Snatch, Madonna’s former lover knows that scene. And as a further positive for Ritchie, he’s also helmed big production films like Sherlock Holmes, so he’s someone studios obviously trust with money.

 

Constantine 2

 

 

Danny Boyle.

Go watch 28 Days Later and tell me that isn’t exactly how Constantine’s world should look. Boyle is obviously a genius director, but unlike many who have directed prestige pictures, Boyle clearly loves a good genre flick. The aforementioned 28 Days Later and the underrated Sunshine jump out as statements from a guy who also directed Steve Jobs and Slumdog Millionaire: he does what he wants if he thinks it is interesting. If anyone could make a Constantine sequel into an Oscar winning movie, it’s Boyle.

 

Constantine 2

 

 

Sam Mendes.

He’s hot off of directing the Bond franchise, but made his name with smaller films. Constantine needs to be smaller in scope, with the personal interactions more important than the explosions. Mendes has handled both in his career. Further, his producing the Showtime series Penny Dreadful indicates a clear interest in off kilter, supernatural topics. Sam Mendes directing Constantine 2 could be really fun.

 

Constantine 2

 

 

The Constantine sequel name is …

Constantine 2 is easily enough. Or to spitball… Constantine: Saving Heaven from Hell. Constantine: Dead Man Walking. Constantine: The Devil is in the details. Hellblazer. John Constantine: Hellblazer.

 

Constantine 2

 

 

Constantine Sequel Cast (aka: Who Should Play Constantine)

 

Whether it is a Constantine sequel or a Constantine reboot, the casting is first and foremost of importance. Keanu Reeves did a very good job in the first film, critics be damned. But, I doubt he’s coming back due to the backlash. One of the tricky parts of the character is that he is NOT young. Constantine is supposed to be in his 40s, kind of a loser piece of garbage who never quite grew up and doesn’t have any real friends or connections to the world – because he’s been responsible for everyone he knows dying. While I know Hollywood likes to cast young, going a little older could pay off as it would make Constantine 2 stand out as different. And so…

 

Jude Law.

 

Constantine 2

 

Blond. British. Has a good mix of charismatic but also a piece of shit. Biggest downside to him is he simply doesn’t look tough. Constantine has scars, physical and otherwise. He doesn’t really win fights so much as he knows how to take a good ass kicking. I don’t sense that in Law.

 

 

Ewan McGregor

 

Constantine 2

 

Similar to Law in that I sense a lack of toughness. But,the McGregor from Trainspotting is the exact kid that grew up to be Constantine.

 

 

Matt Ryan.

 

Constantine 2

 

He currently plays Constantine on TV. He has a solid look and is naturally British. I think he could possibly be an excellent choice but I’m stuck seeing him from TV where he was just too clean cut. There’s also simply the issue that some guys are made for TV and some for film. He may just be a TV level actor.

 

Paul Bettany.

 

Constantine 2

 

He’s probably a no-go, due to his being an Avenger and all. I also think he just doesn’t have the same level of shit eating charisma as others.

 

Charlie Hunnam.

 

Constantine 2

 

He played charismatic douchebag very well on Sons of Anarchy. He’s also British, probably to the sad realization of some SOA fans.

 

Daniel Craig.

 

Constantine 2

 

His James Bond is very similar to Constantine. He’d be a big, big star, but he also has a perfect mix of being just a little older while maintaining the ability to project “against his better judgment” hero.

 

But the best choice to play Constantine in the Constantine sequel is…

 

Travis Fimmel.

 

Constantine 2

 

Constantine 2

 

Constantine 2

 

Fimmel stars as the lead, Ragnar, on The History Channel’s Vikings. He’s simply outstanding and is an amazing mix of blonde dirt bag, ladies man, leading man, and guy who is smarter than everyone and uses his brains more than his brawn at times. He’s Australian, but that’s close enough to Not-American that it should be fine. Travis Fimmel as John Constantine is perfect.

 

Constantine 2

 

Constantine 2 TRAILER

 

 

Yes, this is the trailer for the first Constantine, I admit. But it gets the tone right and I cannot overstate how important tone is to a Constantine sequel.

 

And this is Schism by T00L. It captures the mood just right.

 

 

 

 

The POSTER for the sequel to Constantine

Pick any image you want, they all work for a great poster to the Constantine sequel.

 

Constantine 2

 

 

Constantine 2

 

Constantine 2

 

 

Constantine 2 PHOTOS

More just images to whet the appetite, the look of the character as we’ve noted is secondary to the “fuck off” vibe he must possess.

 

Constantine 2

Constantine 2

 

 

The sequel to Constantine WILL BE WRITTEN BY

 

Me. I wish. I’m sure any of the above directors would be excellent at penning most of it. However, let Neil Gaiman write Constantine 2. Gaiman is comic book royalty and had a hand in the early creation of Constantine. While technically it was Alan Moore that created Hellblazer, Gaiman was central to his lasting impact. He knows the core of the character better than most and has experience writing in every medium known to man, including TV and film. He would be ideal to balance the need for the movie audience while respecting the original work.

 

Constantine 2

 

 

CONSTANTINE 2 RELEASE DATE

 

Constantine 2 feels like a February release. The first Constantine was released in February of 2005 and Constantine 2 being released in February of 2017 would fit. It would allow it to not get crowded out by Star Wars Episode Whatever and would unofficially kick of the comic book season. A February 2017 release date for Constantine 2 would also relieve some pressure from the film, lowering expectations and signaling to the audience that they shouldn’t expect an over the top $300 million blockbuster.

 

 

CONSTANTINE 2 BOX OFFICE

 

The first Constantine film did $230 million, worldwide, on a budget of roughly $100m. The sequel to Constantine should be able to easily pull in north of $250m. If tied correctly to the DC Movie Universe, $300m+ isn’t out of the question for Constantine 2.

 

Like the way we previewed Constantine 2? You’ll Love These:

I Am Legend 2 Preview Blade 4 Related Post Dracula Untold 2 Thumbnail

 

CONSTANTINE sequel PRODUCTS

The post Constantine 2: Release Date, Trailer, Cast & more Sequel News appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.


TWO New Spider-Man: Homecoming Trailers

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This is all my fault. I got caught up in all of the hype of these two amazing UFC shows coming up on Friday and Saturday. I mean,I’ve been on the edge of my seat waiting for the ability to pay $60 to watch a glorified Fight Night this Saturday.

 

For my sins I have been punished and forgot completely that there are two new Spider-Man: Homecoming trailers. Yes, that’s right, two of them! I thought we would get just one but instead we got to. What a time to be alive.

 

And they told us Donald Trump would end America. Well, if Trump’s America means we have two bad ass Spider-Man trailers then count me in as an alt-right Nazi.

 

New Spider-Man: Homecoming Teaser Trailer

(This is the teaser first. The Big Two are coming soon. Promise.)

 

 

TWO New Spider-Man: Homecoming Trailers

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BEHOLD! The latest Wonder Woman trailer LEAKED (not really)

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I wonder if anyone on earth comes here first to find a movie trailer?  We’re better at analysis and all that, at least I think so.

 

Nonetheless, let’s all get together and re-watch the Wonder Woman trailer that just came out.  Sure, you watched it before, when it popped up in you Facebook feed or on Twitter or whatever, but you’re here now and it’s here now and since you and it occupy the same place and time, go with it.

 

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

 

But, if you’d like MOAR information on just who is Wonder Woman anyways, we have you covered.  All you need to do is click the link in that last sentence.  It’s a good piece too, if I do say so myself.  You can learn all about how she’s a “bad ass bisexual” and who doesn’t like that?  Remember, guys: if a dude is bisexual, we freak out; if a chick is bisexual, she’s just more interesting.

 

I feel as though clicking a link should be intuitive at this point.  I mean, given the demographics of this site, you’re likely a male, over 18, lonely, prone to drug abuse, and enjoy violent and nerdy things: you should know how to navigate the internet by this point.

 

Wonder Woman poster

 

Navigate THIS, the …

 

FINAL WONDER WOMAN TRAILER LEAKED

 

Wonder Woman Products YOU can buy

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I Don’t Care by Icona Pop; aka GUESS WHAT’S STUCK IN MIKE’S HEAD!

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A song is stuck in my head. It is a song that probably shouldn’t be stuck in the head of a 33 year old man but it is nonetheless. That song is “I Don’t Care” by Icona Pop. (Maybe that should be one word?)(I also thought it was Icono Pop. Oh well.)

 

I’ll crib from Wikipedia to learn more about this duo. I suspect their British; they look British…

 

Icona Pop (English /aɪˈkɒnə pɒp/) is a Swedish electropop duo that formed in 2009, with electro house, punk and indie pop music influences.[1] The two members Caroline Hjelt and Aino Jawo, who grew up in Stockholm, create music “you can both laugh and cry to at the same time”.[4][5] They signed to TEN Music Group in 2009. Their biggest hit to date has been “I Love It”.

 

Sweden, eh? Missed that one by a mile. Later it notes this song is from 2012. That’s … odd. I’m old. Music time!

 

I Don’t Care by Icona Pop

 


The post I Don’t Care by Icona Pop; aka GUESS WHAT’S STUCK IN MIKE’S HEAD! appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Megadeth’s Peace Sells Video: GUESS WHAT’S STUCK IN MIKE’S HEAD!

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Sometimes, a man just needs music that will help him get ready to punch a hole through the Indian Ocean; music that helps you buttfuck a school bus; music that causes you to headbutt a buffalo.

 

And this is that music: MEGA FUCKING DETH!

 

Yes, Mustaine is probably on the spectrum.  Yes, he’s willing to burn all bridges just because he likes that particular hue of orange.  And, yes, most fans have a police record that is a nice mix of felony assault and mild threats of terrorism.

 

That’s a good thing because Death Cab for Cutie isn’t a promise and Coldplay won’t help you do shots of bottom shelf whiskey while you apply the ointment you need because she was dirty but worth it.

 

Megadeth’s Peace Sells Video

 

 

PEACE SELLS BY MEGADETH


 

The post Megadeth’s Peace Sells Video: GUESS WHAT’S STUCK IN MIKE’S HEAD! appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

WRESTLEMANIA 33 FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness ONLINE – WRESTLEMANIA 33 Results & Coverage

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Camping World Stadium (aka The Citrus Bowl)

Orlando, Florida

@HalfGuarded

 

Bear Witness to our amazing post coverage thing for … WRESTLEMANIA 33!  Here, you will find all things related to Wrestlemania 33 News and Wrestlemania 33 Results.  And they will be available, oh, believe me on THAT one!  Heck, they’ll be available … AS THEY HAPPEN!

 

Wrestlemania 33 is the grand daddy of them all, a wonderful endeavor of fake fighting and homoerotic foreplay.  I can’t wait.

 

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

 

Wrestlemania 33 News and Rumors

  • Seth Rollins may be out of the show (he isn’t)
  • Samoa Joe may be in (he is)
  • Randy Orton, who won the Royal Rumble and thus was to be involved in a significant way with the main-event, has been suspended 60 days for a drug failure. In theory, he could appear on th show but it hold be with essentially no build. SUCKS TO SUCK.
    • Ooops. I done got trolled. The Orton news from WWE is from 2012. Dammit, trolls. Your fake news stuff about a fake sport faked me out.
    • Orton will face Bray Wyatt. Let us all rejoice.
  • Looks like Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho will be in a program, inevitably with a Mania match.
  • Goldberg is your champion (well, one of your champions).  Brock v Goldie for the strap!
  • Wow, Alexa Bliss is smoking hot.  Sheesh.

bliss gif hot sexy

 

 

WRESTLEMANIA 33 FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness ONLINE – WRESTLEMANIA 33 Results & Coverage

 

 

 

 

triple-h-angry hhh gif

Triple H vs. Seth Rollins

Singles match

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

Orton

 

Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

Singles match for the WWE Championship

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

aj styles

Shane McMahon vs AJ Styles

Owner’s Boss Plays Pretend Guy Who Also Plays Pretend

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

 

bullet club

Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass or Cesaro and Sheamus

Tag team match for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

 

alexa bliss WHAT gif dec

Alexa Bliss (c) vs. all available SmackDown women competitors

For the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

 

Trofeo-de-la-Batalla-Real-de-André-the-Giant-en-WWE-WrestleMania-XXX

André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal Battle Royal

For the André the Giant Memorial Trophy

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

 

 

jericho list gif

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens

Singles match for the WWE United States Championship

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

 

sasha banks

Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks

Triple threat match for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

undertaker dive

The Undertaker vs Roman Reigns

Single Match of Fun

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

 

Wwe Maryse

I hate The Miz.

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse

Mixed Tag/ Orgy

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

neville wwe gif finisher ko

Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries

Cruiserweight Championship of the World (Wrestling Entertainment)

What Happened?

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

 

 

goldberg spears lesnar

Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman)

Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship

What Happened?

 

 

 

 

Should You Watch?

 

 

 

 

Sexy hot wwe

 

How do I watch WRESTLEMANIA 33?

There are a ton of different options for watch the show.  The first and easiest is to simply spend thousands of dollars and fly to Orlando and watch it in person.  The downside to that is you have to be in … Orlando.  Yuck.  Pay Per View is the choice of most.  A good way to watch the PPV is to go to a family member’s house, order it there, and then ignore their phone calls next month when they ask why they have a charge for $59.99.

 

Probably the most common way for many to watch is through the WWE Network.  You get all of the stuff WWE has ever done and such.  It’s $10/month.  If you like pro wrestling, I can’t fathom why you don’t have it.  Hell, you can get a free month anytime you want, including for ‘Mania Month.  That’s a good deal, right?

 

 

What time does WRESTLEMANIA 33 start?

Wrestlemania 33 starts at 700 et and lasts four hours.  At least.  At 600 et, there will be “pregame” stuff to watch.

 

Are there Illegal Streams of WRESTLEMANIA 33? Where can I find a WRESTLEMANIA 33 torrent?

Maybe… It’s the internet: you can buy a black tar heroin if you want. (Call me.)  You’ll have to slag through lots of crap though, the feed usually isn’t good, and who knows what kinda of malware you’ll encounter.

 

Is WRESTLEMANIA 33 on Facebook?

I’ve noted this before whereas it concerns UFC PPVs.  Facebook Live is fun for The Kids these days and I’ve seen UFC PPVs shown and WWE’s Royal Rumble too.  Some of these are shockingly good quality but, come on, WWE is giving this bad boy away for free!

 

 

Cool WRESTLEMANIA 33 Products for Sale

 

The post WRESTLEMANIA 33 FREE LIVE STREAM of consciousness ONLINE – WRESTLEMANIA 33 Results & Coverage appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

The Logan Review: Closure I Didn’t Know I Needed

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@HalfGuarded

 

With all due respect to the Blade franchise, the 2000 hit X-Men started the current comic book movie boom.  I was 17.  It was the most amazing comic book movie I’d ever seen.

 

There’d been Batman and Superman films but both franchises had devolved into such garbage that the idea of a good comic book movie seemed impossible.  Besides, while Batman and Superman were both comic book characters, they’d also been as part of mainstream pop culture as anything for several decades.  The X-Men?  They were comic books through and through.

 

I watched that first X-Men movie and was enthralled.  An entire lifetime of devotion to comic books – and the X-Men in particular (at that point) – was made real.  They had cast Patrick Steward as Professor X, to the delight of every fanboy who ever wrote in to Wizard Magazine.  Cyclops was exactly the pretentious dick/boy scout I’d imagined.  Magneto, Mystique, and even Sabertooth were treated with respect, the physical representations of their cartoon selves.  But front and center was Hugh Jackman as Wolverine.  I had no idea who Jackman was but I knew in an instant he was as good as gold.  It was the first movie I ever saw more than once in a theater.

 

X-Men Started The Comic Book Movie Boom

 

17 years later and I know that the idea of a world without 10 comic book movies a year seems foreign to people.  Since 2000, we’re soon to be on our third iteration of Spider-Man, have had two Batmans and two Supermans (three if you count the small screen)(well, maybe four in Superman’s case)(812 if you throw in animated features and cartoons), two separate but equally horrible Fantastic Fours, Marvel has created the Avengers franchise which has redefined how a blockbuster property can be produced, and even Marvel Comics itself has become so valuable that Disney bought it for $4 billion.  One movie basically kicked off the redefinition of cinema for a generation.

 

I personally have grown from a dumb teenager into a dumb adult.  Marriage, divorce, death, three different graduations, homes bought and sold, friends with multiple children (that’s a weird one), trips all around the world, monkeys in Hong Kong punched, several wars fought, a black president, an orange one, and so much more, have all happened since that first X-Men movie.

 

x men wolverine

 

I don’t know if this kind of relationship between character and audience has existed before.  We’ve always had stories, sure, marvelous creations that have sprung forth from a mind, coming to life and sucking people in to a world more desirable than the one we live in day to day.  But those were self-contained stories: Romeo & Juliet (SPOILER!) die; The Count of Monte Cristo (SPOILER!) gets his revenge; Citizen Kane finds his (SPOILER!) sled – I think, I never saw it.  There is a definitive end to those works.

 

More than having a clear end, literature and movies gone by don’t evolve.  An author wrote his tale and moved on.  Comic books (and I suppose soap operas) come along and are, in theory, one continuous story for decades on end.  In that way, so too was the X-Men franchise.  It is a 10 movie story that took place over decades.  I can check off moments of my life in relation to when a movie came out.  I have crystal clear memories forever linked to various flicks.

 

Logan Closes a Chapter for the X-Men (and My Life)

 

Now, I know that we have a ton of comic book movies on the horizon, and I look forward to them all, but as I watched Logan the other week, I felt it closed a chapter in my life.

 

Thematically and in actuality, Logan is the memoir of Wolverine as well as the final story to that first X-Men film.  Yes, there are technically ways to tie in the future X-Men movies to the 2000 picture’s continuity but that’s just because we fan boys can make everything fit somehow (except for the Clone Saga).  Logan is the story of the death of Wolverine and Professor X, as both characters and franchises.

 

As Logan referenced moments gone by, I suddenly realized I was having flashbacks of my own.  I could see the now-gone theater where I watched Wolverine and Co. battle it out on top of the Statue of Liberty.  I smiled at that recalling when Nightcrawler almost killed the president, a scene so inventive and fun it’s amongst my personal favorites.

 

nightcrawler X2 X MEN gif

 

I could now even laugh at how horrible Brett Ratner’s X-Men: The Last Stand was, as the series had righted itself, reclaiming its prior glory, thus making palatable that utter dreck.

 

I saw myself in Logan.  Where I was a boy, now I’m a man.  I’m broken in my way, cast aside by an ex-wife, working a crappy job for a crappy career, drinking too much, simply existing instead of “living life.”  Logan is older, broken, drunk, and sees his life as meaningless.  But he moves forward, trying to kill himself but unwilling to die.  He would only whisper to a mirror his secret hope that something will give his life meaning and then let him finally sleep.  As the credits rolled, I said goodbye to a fictional character but also to parts of my past.

 

There will be more movies with Wolverine in them, that’s for sure.  You don’t become a character that successful and then never reappear.  But the “true” Wolverine is dead.  The franchise has ended.  Logan was alive.  He grew, he struggled, he died.  In the process, he took with him a small part of me.  But that’s ok, because he gave so much more in return.

 

Thank you, Logan, you gave me the closure I never knew I needed.

 

The post The Logan Review: Closure I Didn’t Know I Needed appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Sightseers, Freaks (1932), Space Firebird (!), & Near Dark Movie Reviews of Fun

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With this installment Couch Zone Movie Club becomes a trilogy, one more and it’s that franchise that just seems to never go away.

 

Same rules as always, I’ll be highlighting four movies, one a general cult movie, one a black and white movie, one a foreign language film and lastly a lesser known film from the last ten years.

 

 

Near Dark (1987)

 

Image result for near dark 1987

 

Of the many novel ideas I’ve never got around to writing, one that I actually managed to put words onto paper was for the ultimate modern vampire story. I wanted to have cool vampires in the 20th Century, wearing denim and leather jackets or snazzy suits and sunglasses. Outlaws that used guns just as much as fangs and would listen to rock music and ride motorcycles rather than ponce about in stately homes.

I never got that far, especially once I saw a screening of Kathryn Bigelow’s Near Dark in a  film studies class because it was frankly the perfect portrayal of what I wanted to achieve. It’s a modern day western following Caleb (Adrian Pasdar from Heroes) who is accidentally turned into a vampire when making out with a young woman  Mae (Jenny Wright) and is forced to join her biker gang like family of vampires to survive.

 

The film has inspired casting, reuniting from Aliens Lance Henriksen, Jennette Goldstein and Bill Paxton (stealing scenes left right and centre as the punk outlaw Severn) as the vampire gang along with one other vampire who in age wise is an adult but is forever trapped in the body of a child. This dysfunctional family travel in a boarded up camper van along the remote roads of America, hunting and feeding on victims while evading the local authorities.

Along the way there are wild west style shoot outs with police and a massacre at a bar where the term “going out for a drink” takes new meaning. All the time Caleb is battling with being accepted into the family and his refusal to kill to feed his need for blood.

 

It’s a wonderful genre mixing movie, full of dark, gritty style and has enough elements of horror and action that will keep viewers of many tastes happy.

 

 

Image result for near dark 1987

 

Space Firebird (1980)

 

space firebird

 

Oh the forgotten joys of the video rental stores!

 

Video stores were a joy for a growing film fan in the early 80’s. Especially in the days when some studios still treated the technology with mistrust and were unwilling to share their blockbusters. As such the films that made it onto video store shelves could sometimes prove quite random and weird, case in point this Anime that made it to Western audiences years before Akira appeared.

 

Space Firebird was originally Phoenix 2772 (like much anime based on a long running Manga) and was edited down by about half an hour for it’s video release. I discovered this curiosity in a rough Video store in a slightly dodgy area of town (as they all were in the pre BlockBuster days) tucked between copies of Smokey and the Bandit ripoffs and repackaged Italian B movies. What I saw when I popped the tape into the Betamax video recorder (the salesman told Dad Betamax was going to be the dominant brand!) was unlike no cartoon I’d seen before.

 

It wasn’t just the vibrant colours and weird imagery of odd robots and cartoon like aliens and the Japanese style depictions of gender. It was the strange plot that while typical of Japanese culture was almost alien to me, of a dystopian  society, ruled by corporations and attempting to solve an energy crisis by tracking down a mythical space creature. The weirdness never subsides and builds to what at the time seemed a  very bizarre ending. To be fair I had trouble following the story, as well as the elements of cloning, artificial intelligence, resurrections and at times the themes were way more metaphysical than I could really appreciate.

 

But the film was fun and action packed and had a real edge to it that I was not used to in cartoons, especially when the crew of cute alien characters I’d become attached to began dying off in the battle with the Firebird. There is also a relationship between our hero Godo and his female robot maid Olga that despite society regarding her as a simple machine develops into friendship and eventually love.

 

By today’s standards it’d probably primitive but I loved it on first viewing and rushed to watch it again the next morning before it had to be returned to the video store. It probably would have started an obsession with Anime for me, but search though I did I found  nothing else like it until the early 90’s when the genre exploded onto Western sensibilities.

 

And I really want to see it again.

 

 

Image result for phoenix 2772

 

 

Freaks (1932)

 

freaks 1932

 

It’s hard to think of a film that was so daring to be made in 1930’s Hollywood as Freaks, and as a result it was received with disgust and shock by an audience that wasn’t ready for it and destroyed the career of it’s director Tod Browning.

 

Freaks is set in a travelling freakshow, where  two of “normal” members of the crew the beautiful acrobat Cleopatra and the strongman Hercules attempt to con the circus from it’s owner the midget Hans, by having Cleopatra seduce and marry him and then poison him. When the plot is discovered the freaks respond with frightening revenge.

 

Freaks unsettled audiences by starring real life “Freaks” and was immediately controversial. It can be deemed as exploitative, although the handling of the circus members is  sympathetic and successfully portrays them as a loving community that looks out for each other. One nice scene early on sees the performers gathering to visit the Bearded Lady after she has given birth to the new member of their family.

 

MGM panicked over test screenings and cut the film from 90 minutes to just over an hour, the missing footage of the Freaks revenge (originally Hercules is castrated and forced to perform as a singer) some comedy numbers and scenes of the love triangle between the Siamese Twins and a Clown have seemingly been lost forever. Even edited the film was received horribly by audiences and critics (many reviews of the time would appear sickeningly prejudiced today) and never completed it’s theatrical tour. Internationally the film was received little better and was even banned in some countries such as the UK.

 

In the sixties and the age of counter culture, the film was rediscovered by a new audience and seized upon as a cult classic. It became a regular attraction at horror festivals and midnight showings and today is regarded as one of the greatest and most important horror films of all time.

 

I first saw Freaks when it was shown on British Television I think sometime in the early 90’s and was part of a season of formerly banned movies on Channel Four (I seem to remember a disclaimer at the start warning some scenes may be disturbing). Although it’s often cited as a horror movie due to it’s ending as the freaks go on the rampage as they chase Cleopatra and Hercules into the woods (and those scenes do become disturbing), for the most part it felt to me more like a soap opera of the everyday lives and relationships of the performers.

 

Freaks is rough around the edges in it’s production and it’s acting, but it’s a film which is unforgettable once viewed. The iconic scenes of the Freaks chorus of “One of us, One of us, We accept you, one of us,” and the bizarre visual of Cleopatra’s fate as being transformed into a duck lady etch themselves into the memories of viewers forever.

 

 

Image result for freaks 1932

 

 

Sightseers (2012)

 

 

Image result for sightseers poster

 

 

Sightseers is splendid example of British comedy at it’s best, dark, subtle, satirical and subversive. It was the brainchild of Alice Lowe and Steve Oram who as well as writing the script took the two leading roles in the film.

 

It follows an average couple going on a camping holiday, where slowly it is revealed that Oram’s character Chris while generally friendly has psychotic tendencies which drive him to commit several murders along the journey, generally people who annoy him (his first victim which initially seems an accident drops litter which he refuses to pick up). After Lowe’s character Tina witnesses one of the murders (a walker who complains at her for allowing her dog to foul in the countryside) she herself follows suit and begins committing murders, starting with a drunk girl on a hen night who flirts heavily with Chris.

 

Sightseers is very funny (the film kicks off with a accident with a dog and knitting needles that made me howl in the cinema) but also very dark and brutal. The murders are not presented in a comic fashion, but with understated realism and the ordinariness of the couple adds to the frightening nature of the acts. As well as a story of serial killers it’s also a satire on the Great British holiday which inspired Oram and Lowe to begin writing the film and which many British viewers will be able to relate to. There’s a scene where Tina visits a pencil museum and buys a giant pencil from the giftshop, which really sums up the banal sort of activities we all did with our families when trying to fill time on these excursions to the middle of nowhere.

 

Performances across the board are great, it’s directed by Ben Wheatley who has become one of the hot prospects of the British film industry (which means he’ll probably be ditching this country for Hollywood soon and I don’t chuffing blame him) and the critical response to Sightseers was very positive.

 

It deserves to be remembered in the same regard as Withnail and I and Shaun of the Dead and is one of the best movies to come from these shores in a long time

 

 

Image result for sightseers film

 

 

In the next instalment of the Couch Zone Movie Club I’ll be looking at films featuring a French hitwoman, a tramp rising to State Governor in a political satire, a car tire and a star wars ripoff featuring a woman with big knockers.

 

 

See ya

 

 

Dazza.

 

 

The post Sightseers, Freaks (1932), Space Firebird (!), & Near Dark Movie Reviews of Fun appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.


LEAKED Justice League Trailer! (maybe not exactly “leaked” per se…)

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@HalfGuarded

 

Justice League is almost assuredly going to be a giant piece of a shit.  It’s not like we have any reason to believe Zack Snyder suddenly became anything more than a dude with a 13-year-old boy’s attention span who makes 2 hour long music videos.

 

Here’s how the movie will go, for those wondering…

 

Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked

 

Justice League spoilers (kinda)

 

Batman and Wonder Woman will travel around, convincing other super heroes to join their new Super Friends team: The Justice League.  Inevitably, there will be some sort of fight between the heroes, even if for just a few minutes, because one of the rules of life is that all superhero team-ups must first feature the heroes fighting each other like morons.  That Warner Brothers managed to make an entire movie based on this concept is pretty impressive.

 

Who is the bad guy in Justice League (movie)?

 

The bad guy is already reported as Steppenwolf, a character no one gives a fuck about in any medium.  What he really is is the appetizer for Darkseid.  Darkseid is the Big Bad Guy in DC Comics.  He runs a planet named Apokolips because what else would you call a planet run by a Big Bad Guy.

 

steppenwolf-batman-v-superman

 

So, they’ll all fight Mr. Wolf and beat him but it’s just a sign of things to come, because this thing is designed to go on for at least 35 movies.  I’m sure Darkseid will make an appearance near the end, kind of a Thanos-like moment just not nearly as well done.

 

Oh, and none of this shit shows Superman yet because he’s “dead.”  He’ll be back.  He’ll probably show up in the third act.  Rumors are they might even get away from his traditional costume because, yeah, that’s what people want: emo Superman.  He’ll save the day in his own way, kind of like America in WW2: let them all wear out the Big Bad Guy then swoop in and take all the credit.  Thus, The Justice League will be born.

 

darkseid and apokolips

Darkseid and his planet of doom!

 

I’m still gonna see it.

 

LEAKED Justice League Trailer!

 

JUSTICE LEAGUE (movie) CAST

  • Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne / Batman: You should know who Batman is.  He also has a drinking problem.
  • Henry Cavill as Kal-El / Clark Kent / Superman: You should know this one too.
  • Amy Adams as Lois Lane: Annoying reporter who for years was fooled by a pair of glasses.
  • Gal Gadot as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman: She’s hot and bisexual as all fuck.
  • Jason Momoa as Arthur Curry / Aquaman: He talks to fish.  He sucks.
  • Ezra Miller as Barry Allen / Flash: Super fast guy who won’t be half as cool as he is in his TV show. He’s also a part-time CSI.
  • Ray Fisher as Victor Stone / Cyborg: He’s a dude that is half human, half machine, all lame.  No one likes him, Geoff Johns.  NO ONE.
  • Willem Dafoe as Nuidis Vulko: An Atlantean advisor to Aquaman. This will be a shitty character.
  • Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor: The hereditary CEO of LexCorp.  He’s bald and smart and rich.
  • Jeremy Irons as Alfred Pennyworth: Bruce Wayne’s butler, enabler, and possible molester.
  • Diane Lane as Martha Kent: Clark Kent’s adoptive mother. She once told Superman to not save people so long as he was happy. Bitch.
  • Connie Nielsen as Queen Hippolyta: Diana Prince’s mother and the Amazon queen.
  • J. K. Simmons as James Gordon: The Commissioner of the Gotham City Police Department and close ally of Batman. Will in no way be as good as Gordon in the Dark Knight Franchise.

 

Justice League pictures and poster

Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked

Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked

Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked

Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked

Justice league pictures justice league poster trailer leaked

 

JUSTICE LEAGUE (movie) RELEASE DATE

 

Justice League, the movie, will come out November 17, 2017.  It will be in the news for approximately one week before Star Wars: The Last Jedi comes out.

 

Shop for Justice League Products

 

 

 

 

The post LEAKED Justice League Trailer! (maybe not exactly “leaked” per se…) appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats – S.O.B. VIDEO – GUESS WHAT’S STUCK IN MIKE’S HEAD?!

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This, this is a song, you see.  No, you don’t, stop it.  You don’t see a song, you listen to it.

 

Though this is a VIDEO for a song so you do, in fact, see it.  Video killed the radio star, of course, but did Spotify kill the video star?  No, it didn’t.  MTV did.

 

Americans love to build something/someone up, tear it down, then watch it rise again.  I think it’s part of our national character; a reminder that none of us are special.  This goes in cycles, you see (you do!).  Music was there, then Elvis made it more than just the music, then somehow everyone pretends the visual didn’t matter, then MTV reminded you all that it did, then Napster declared it didn’t, but now YouTube says it does.  Which is all a long-winded way of saying enjoy the Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats – S.O.B. VIDEO (or just close your eyes if you’re bothered by our cultural reliance on the visual at the expense of the audio).

 

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats – S.O.B. VIDEO

 

 

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats – S.O.B.

The post Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats – S.O.B. VIDEO – GUESS WHAT’S STUCK IN MIKE’S HEAD?! appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

This New Spider-Man: Homecoming Trailer is so good you’ll weep

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Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can. In this case, a spider can present to you all a brand new Spider-Man: Homecoming trailer!

 

Spoiler: it isn’t a giant piece of shit like the last Justice League trailer. High praise, I know.

 

I wrote about how this is a clever Fuck You to Sony by Marvel, what with the naming and all. It’s also kinda unique, as all things in life technically are in their own way, in that Sony admitted it sucked at making movies and let Marvel do it instead.

 

Is that a first? Don’t tell me if it is, I don’t care.

 

Look, this movie will be awesome. Your balls will grow in size at how awesome it is. (No, I’m not gonna pretend girls are lining up to see this days in advance. Come on now, boobs mean you don’t need to escape life like I do.)

 

Spider-Man homecoming trailer and spoilers

 

Having nailed the role in Civil War, I have high hopes. Even though I’ve actually been a fan of Tobey MacGuire – and consider the first two Spider-Man films to be classics – Tom Holland is boss in this role.

 

(Do people still say boss?)

 

Spider-Man: Homecoming comes out in July. It will make 500 bajillion dollars and Spidey will probably anchor the post Infinity War Marvel movies. Yay!

 

Spider-Man: Homecoming New Trailer is so good you’ll weep

 

 

Spider-Man goods you really need

 

 


The post This New Spider-Man: Homecoming Trailer is so good you’ll weep appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Boss Baby 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Boss Baby 2?

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@HalfGuarded

 

In March of 2017, a new hit was release: BOSS BABY!  The tale of an adorable new born baby and his older brother coming together to save their parents from an outside bad guy, the movie was carried by Alec Baldwin who has reinvented his career as a comedy star over the last decade.

 

Where there is one kids movie, there is always a second and BOSS BABY just screams (get it!) for a sequel.  Obviously things are in a preliminary stage still but we’ve talked to a few people and here’s what they can reveal.

 

 

Are you excited for a Boss Baby sequel?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

 

 

Boss Baby 2 Plot/ Boss Baby 2 Story/ Boss Baby 2 Spoilers

Just like the Big Hero 6 sequel, we don’t have full confirmation as to the contents of Boss Baby 2.

 

It’s easy to see why a sequel is made and why kids loved the first film.  A talking baby with an attitude, Boss Baby appeals to young and old.  The contrast of a baby acting like, well, Alec Baldwin was hilarious.  For a sequel, there’s really only one route to take, and it’s a sure fire recipe for success: ANOTHER BABY!

 

When Look Whose Talking came out, I don’t know if people anticipated two sequels and a TV show would result but it did and Boss Baby has all the potential to unleash a multi-generational franchise.  With Boss Baby Too (working title), another little tyke shows up and, you guessed it, he also carries with him an attitude that just won’t give in.

 

This time, the primary setting will be a daycare center.  The three kids will all have to work together to free a variety of people and food from a “mean” babysitter.  Don’t worry, she isn’t too mean, and no one will ever be in any real danger, but the laughs will be aplenty.

 

Plus, the new baby will be A GIRL!  The addition of Girl Power to the Boss Baby sequel will give it a much needed boost in the female demographic.

 

Boss Baby 2 Director

Tom McGrath directed the first movie and there’s no reason he won’t stick around for the second.  John Musker, who directed the Moana, is also being considered, given his huge success with kids’ movies.

 

 

Boss Baby 2 Writers

Marla Frazee wrote the original picture book that Boss Baby was based on and one rumor has her taking a more active role in the sequel.  That makes sense, as she’d have as good a grasp as anyone on the characters.  Plus, her being female helps with the new girl baby!  Look for a little help from Brian Lynch, who wrote the first Minions film and The Secret Life of Pets, as well.

 

 

Boss Baby 2 Posters & Pictures

 

 

Boss Baby 2 Trailer

 

 

 

Boss Baby 2 Release Date

 

BOSS BABY 2 will be released around November, 2020.  After the success of the first film, they’ll better position it to take advantage of the holiday movie season.

 

 

Boss Baby 2 Cast & Stars

 

  • Miles Christopher Bakshi as Tim Templeton, Boss Baby’s 7-year-old brother
    • Tobey Maguire as an adult Tim, the narrator
  • Alec Baldwin as The Boss Baby Templeton
  • Donald Trump as the New Bad Guy!  What a coup!
  • Steve Buscemi as Francis E. Francis, the CEO of Puppy Co.
  • Jimmy Kimmel as Ted Templeton
  • Lisa Kudrow as Janice Templeton
  • Conrad Vernon as Eugene Francis

 

Best Actor/Actress in Boss Baby 2

 

It’s Alec Baldwin and then some, though the rumor of DONALD TRUMP as a cameo voice will definitely get people talking.  I guess those approval ratings need all the help they can get!

 

 

Worst Actor/Actress in Boss Baby 2

 

No one is bad.  Come on, didn’t you watch it?  It was great all around!

 

Potential Boss Baby 2 Titles

 

  • Boss Baby Too
  • Look Whose Bossy Now
  • Huge Boss Baby
  • Boss Baby 2: I Need a Change
  • Boss Babies

Will Boss Baby 2 Be Worth Seeing?

Of course!  The first film was a light romp through the world of childhood, showing how wonderful and fulfilling it can be to bond with a new sibling, while emphasizing the power of love!  A Boss Baby sequel is almost a guarantee for fun, I can’t wait to buy my ticket!

 

 

Boss Baby 2 Box Office Forecast

Remember when I referenced Look Whose Talking?  It cost $7million and made THREE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS.  That’s the power of an adorable baby on screen.  Studio executives are talking that they’ll be disappointed if Boss Baby 2 doesn’t make at least $400m.

 

 

Final Thoughts on a Boss Baby Sequel

I know I can barely wait for the sequel to this wholesome and enjoyable film.  In a world of darkness, Boss Baby stands apart as a fun ray of light.

 

 

Like this Boss Baby 2 Preview? Check These Out!

 

Rio 3 Related PostMinions 2 Related Post

 

 

ice age 6 link

 

BOSS BABY 2 PRODUCTS

Products Related to Boss Baby 2

The post Boss Baby 2 (2020) Movie Trailer, Release Date & More – Will there be a Boss Baby 2? appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

Whatever Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is, I’m in

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@HalfGuarded

 

Desire is a funny thing.  Do I actually know why I want something?  Or anticipate it?  I’m not sure.  I think I maybe feel the emotion and then try to rationalize.  I don’t sit, look at the world, coldly and calmly figure out what I should want, and then direct my emotions towards that “objectively good” thing.  I always feel first.  This might just be the human condition: animals who confuse justification with reality.  On some level, what excites me about Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, is visceral.  I’ll try to explain it but all that follows may just be a wordy way of saying, “My brain liked the colors a lot.”

 

I saw the first trailer for this movie some time back (two months?) and I’ve been hooked ever since.  Here, you watch it, then read on:

 

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets – TRAILER ONE

 

 

I’m in awe.  Luc Besson is behind this movie and its obviously a lot more The Fifth Element than it is Taken.  From what I gather, this is a French comic book.  Trailer two gives me a few more details:

 

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets – TRAILER TWO

 

 

So, there’s this big city that’s comprised of 1000 planets.  That sounds unwieldy but makes for a cool title.  Plus, it’s sci-fi; they have special ways to govern in the future.  It’s a nice, peaceful place but there is a danger that our hero, Valerian, has to stop.  He brings along his woman for the ride.  I think.  Again, I have no real idea what this thing is.  I have a sinking suspicion (all suspicions are sinking) she’ll have a larger role than just “girlfriend.”  Besson did Lucy, which was all about a strong woman, and The Fifth Element treated Milla Jovovich’s Leeloo with a bit of respect.

 

I really want the future to be exactly like this movie.

 

I don’t know who this actress is, by the by.  She reminds me a lot of Christina Ricci.  Cara Delevingne is her name and she was, oh!, Enchantress in Suicide Squad.  She started her life as a model and is, according to Wikipedia, openly bi-sexual.  I’m so happy I liked her before I knew that so now it’s a bonus. (Fuck you, I DO have a shot.)(She’s only 24 – I now admit I have nothing in common with her.)(Yeah, Mike, it’s the age gap that’s the main impediment.)

 

Dane DeHaan, Harry Osborn from Amazing Spider-Man 2, looks good in this too. (He was in a movie called Two Lovers and a Bear – that’s going on my list.)  I think starting with The Matrix that we moved away from the Stallone type of heroes, and he continues that, but I still dig it.  I thought he played a fine Osborn and I was interested in A Cure for Wellness, though I’m waiting for it to be in the not-theaters because I’m a shut-in who only leaves to see special movies, like … Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets!

 

That title, man, just: wow.  I just love it, love it, love it.

 

valerian-and-the-city-of-a-thousand-planets

 

While this is a French comic book, that doesn’t mean it’s a comic book movie, obvs.  To me, this is what films should be: shit I can’t see anywhere else.  This is something unique and special and cool and [thesaurus.com entry].  This thing is a modern Star Wars.  There’s imagination and life and that sensation that you’re on a ride.

 

Hold up a second.  I got curious about Two Lovers and a Bear so I looked it up.  This is the Wiki description:

 

The film follows the lives of Roman and Lucy, two people living difficult lives in a small, frozen town of Apex in the Arctic Circle.[4] They are in love, but Lucy tells Roman that she must leave as a stalker has followed her. Roman tells her that he cannot leave and go south again, because of dark things in his own past. He tries to get her to go without him, and is even pushed to the brink of suicide. Eventually, he knows that he must go with her. Roman can talk to bears which only he it seems can hear talking back, and a polar bear who talks to him about life makes several appearances in the story. On their snowmobile journey south, they are warned of a blizzard, but seek shelter in an abandoned military base instead of going back. Lucy comes to believe that her stalker has followed them there. It is then revealed that the stalker is in her mind, her dead abusive father. Roman burns the military base in order to prove that her father is now dead forever and can no longer follow her. Seeking shelter in a snow cave, they talk about a herd of caribou that they had found frozen in a lake earlier in their journey. They compare their lives to these animals, being lead on a path and unable get off, and all being drowned. Subsequently, the bear reappears, reveals that he is God and promises that they will soon see each other again. At the end we see the lovers dead bodies being cut out of the snow and lifted away by helicopter.

 

WHAT IN THE SWEET FUCK?!  Holy.  Balls.  I must see this NAO!

 

OK.  Back to Valerian.  Umm… I want to see it.  That’s all.  This is the little description provided by Google:

 

In the 28th century, special operatives Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) maintain order throughout the universe for the government of the human territories. Under orders from their commander (Clive Owen), the duo embark on a mission to Alpha, an intergalactic city where diverse species share their technology and resources for the betterment of all. The ever-expanding metropolis is also home to sinister forces that jeopardize the future of mankind.

 

How can this be anything but amazing?

 

valerian-and-the-city-of-a-thousand-planets

 

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Products

 

 

The post Whatever Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is, I’m in appeared first on HalfGuarded.com.

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